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A Letter to the Men Getting Mad Over WAP

Weird that you’re mad in the first place, but OK.

Dear straight white cis men (yes we know it’s you),

“WAP” by Cardi B and Meghan Thee Stallion has shattered records with 93 million streams in its first week and currently sits at #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100. And for some reason, you have a lot to say about this. You have mocked it, saying things like “this is what feminists fought for.” Of people who enjoy the song you’ve said “ they should be ashamed of themselves, but they’re not ashamed of themselves.

But I have some questions.

Have you not heard a single thing we’ve said? Have you still not taken the time to learn the definition of “equality”? When Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie defined the word feminist as “a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes” did you just plug your ears and yell “I CAN’T HEAR YOU” loud enough to drown it out?

Well unplug them, children, and listen.

Equality means that women deserve the same amount of respect as men. Not that women deserve the same amount of respect as men as long as we’re acting lady like.

WAP is not going to close the wage gap. It is not going to shatter the glass ceiling. It is not a feminist war cry, it is a popular rap song. So let’s look at how you’ve treated other popular rap songs.

When Lil Wayne said “I say he so sweet make her wanna’ lick the rapper/ So I let her lick the rapper/ She lick me like a lollipop” in his 2008 song “Lollipop,” he won a Grammy for Best Rap Song of the Year. When Lil Jon’s hit “Get Low” (featuring the lyrics “Sweat drop down my balls/ All these bitches crawl/ Ah skeet skeet mother fucker ah skeet skeet god damn”) climbed to #2 on the Billboard Top 100 chart, there was no public outcry.

But when a woman says “Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy” you suddenly decide that singers of popular music have a responsibility to be role models to their target audience, who only now you’ve defined as girls and young women.

If you were actually mad about songs that celebrate genitalia, then where was your anger over the countless popular songs about penis and/or balls? For reference, here’s a quick list of thirty. If you can respect men who talk about their genitalia, then equality means you respect women who do it too.

And that’s not even the cherry on top. If you think this is just about your sexism, then please explain to me why none of you complained when Katy Perry sang “I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock/ Your peacock, cock.” Unlike Cardi B and Meghan Thee Stallion, Katy Perry has actually spent her career acting as a role model to girls and young women, who were the target audience of her PG-rated movie Part of Me. And if you need any more proof, please refer to her cameo appearance in Raising Hope in which the episode she starred on was called “Single White Female Role Model.”

I think by this time you get the picture, but just in case you need me to spell it out for you: when the single white female role model sings an overtly sexual pop song no one bats an eye, but when Black and Black Latina women do the same thing, they are dragged by conservative media for doing a disservice to America’s girls and young women. Maybe it’s time for conservative media to face the fact that what angers them is not the effects on America’s children, but the success of Black and Black Latina women.

Trying to use the narrative of “we have to protect our children” as a pathetic disguise of your racism and sexism is getting old. Grow up and face your fear of the p-word, because we’re cleaning house. Bring a bucket and a mop.

PS- If you find yourself in the unfortunate circumstance of Ben Shapiro who has clearly never made a woman come in his life, you can follow this link to sign up for the online class “The Fine Art of Female Orgasm.” Your wife will thank me.

Tech by day, comedy by night, opinionated always. www.amymaniscalco.com

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